Last night, I noticed it took me over 40 minutes to finally fall asleep.
And if you’re anything like me, you know the feeling: you lie down, you’re tired, you want to sleep… yet your brain is still running the night shift.
Meanwhile, men?
Tell them “goodnight,” and they’re unconscious in FIVE SECONDS. It’s almost comical how fast they shut down, like someone flipped their internal power switch.
So, what’s the difference? And mainly, CAN WE – WOMEN DO THE SAME?
Let’s find out.
There’s actually a scientific explanation for why men in general are better sleepers than women. It has to do with several factors, such as stress cycles, biology, how emotions and thoughts are processed, and simple habits.
Here’s the breakdown.
Men shut off faster because their stress response is simpler
Most men have a more linear stress curve.
They get stressed → cortisol spikes → it comes back down relatively quickly.
Women? We tend to internalize, multitask, and stay emotionally “plugged in” longer. Cortisol stays elevated into the evening, and high cortisol kills melatonin.
How to help it? ⬇️
CREATE A DELIBERATE EVENING CORTISOL DROP
10 minutes of slow walking (walk around the block)
A hot shower
Magnesium supplements (go for a bioavailable version, like Momentous Magnesium L-threonate)
A strict “no problem-solving after 8:30 PM” rule
Men compartmentalize. Women process
Men don’t process emotions or unfinished tasks before bed. They simply push them off.
Women don’t know how to put a stop to endless processing.
Nothing exhausts the brain more than RUMINATION. Replaying conversations, doubting decisions, weighing pros and cons, predicting outcomes, rewriting what you “should have said – it is a MENTAL OVERDRIVE WITHOUT DIRECTION.
The brain hates ambiguity. It’s wired for clarity and resolution.
When a woman is stuck between choices — Should I text back? Should I do this tomorrow? Did I upset someone? — her nervous system interprets the uncertainty as a threat.
And what does the body do when it senses a threat?
It keeps you awake, alert, and mentally “on guard,” even if you’re lying in bed exhausted.
Men tend to make faster micro-decisions (even if they’re not perfect ones), which shuts off the ambiguity loop. Women often stay in the “processing phase,” and that limbo is what keeps energy high and cortisol elevated.
MAKE SOME KIND OF A DECISION BEFORE YOU GO TO BED
Decide on a temporary choice
(Not forever, just for tonight).
Example: “I’ll deal with it in the morning. Decision made.”Use the phrase:
“This doesn’t need my energy right now.”Externalize ambiguity: write the problem on paper so the brain stops carrying it.
Men physically tire themselves out more consistently
Not all men, but many, get more spontaneous movement throughout the day. They lift, they walk, they carry, they stand, etc.
Women often spend long hours sitting, then try to fall asleep with a nervous system that hasn’t fully discharged energy.
WOMEN END UP BEING MORE EXHAUSTED MENTALLY, BUT NOT PHYSICALLY.
That means that the body stores energy that didn’t find an organic way out during the day.
Not going to invite you to do push-ups before you go to sleep, but..
…5 minutes of some activity that releases physical tension will do.
You can go for:
- yoga or pilates routine
- set of mobility exercises (double the benefits!)
- somatic stretching routine, or
- specific somatic exercises designed for releasing muscular tension from the body
I wrote TONS of articles about somatic movements, so you can find every possible application of them from A to Z.
Men are less sensitive to small sleep disruptors
Men tend to ignore small discomforts like temperature changes, tangled blankets, and background noises.
Women detect everything: the AC cycling, a dog moving, that tiny sound in the hallway.
This is actually a biological safety mechanism, but it makes sleep harder.
WOMEN JUST NEED TO CONTROL THEIR SLEEPING ENVIRONMENT BETTER.
They can use:
Weighted blanket (10–15 lb)
White noise
100% blackout environment
Cooling mattress topper if you run hot
These tricks “override” the hyper-awareness system.
Men rarely catastrophize their sleep
Research shows women tend to be more attuned to their internal states, namely thoughts, sensations, and emotions. Meaning they are more likely to notice how long it’s taking to fall asleep, how their body feels, and what tomorrow will look like if they don’t sleep well.
Men pay less attention to subtle bodily cues, so they’re not mentally “checking in” on their sleep as often. Their brain is more likely to stay in a simple loop: tired → bed → sleep.
DO SOME COGNITIVE WORK, DO UNDO THIS INTERNAL “CONTROLLER”
Notice sensations without assigning meaning: “I’m awake, and that’s okay.”
Shift from control to trust: “My body knows how to fall asleep.”
Interrupt monitoring with a calming anchor (slow breathing, weighted blanket).
FORMULA: HOW TO FALL ASLEEP IN UNDER 10 MINUTES
Here is the condensed, practical “men-inspired” formula:
1. Drop cortisol
Hot shower
Magnesium
Dim lights
Slow breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6)
2. Empty the mental load
5-minute “brain dump” journaling
No problem-solving after 8:30 PM
3. Release physical tension
60 seconds of shaking
Stretch your body with somatic exercises
4. Control the environment
Cool, dark, heavy blankets
White noise
5. Use the “let go of the controller” mindset
This alone stops 50% of sleep anxiety.
In conclusion
Falling asleep quickly is not magic. It is a mix of biology, stress patterns, and mental habits.
Men often fall asleep faster because their minds shut off more easily, while women tend to stay mentally active even when their bodies are tired.
Once you understand what keeps the brain alert, you can interrupt those patterns and make falling asleep much easier. With a few gentle shifts, your nights can become calm, predictable, and deeply restorative.
